I am no stranger to change; I have moved myself and my belongings 15 times since I was 19; I have been the cheated, the cheater and the cheatee; I could have been a wife, I could have been a mother; my life has flipped upside down and inside out more times than I care […]

I have never been afraid of thunder and lightening, I’ve always felt safe and cocooned when it’s stormy. This no fear attitude and the hypnotic effect of lightening on me, has got me into some stupid situations - storm watching on top of rooves, lightening crashing down all around me; standing hip-deep in the sea […]

For the longest time I’ve been turning over a new leaf and the journey has just seemed so difficult. I kind of knew what I wanted, sort of knew how to get there and had more-or-less an idea of how I wanted my life to be, but everything was so vague. I […]

I’m having one of those enlightening times. Over the past months various factors have contributed to this realisation I am having, to the conclusion to which I have reached.

Starting counseling sessions
Beginning to learn about and understand myself
Loosing two grandmothers
Seeing Paula grow and become a mother

Combined with inconsequential things like the sun arriving, certain films (Brokeback […]

Oooh it’s a strange day! My dearest friend’s waters have just broken and she lies waiting to bring her babies into the world.
I have so many conflicting emotions, it’s almost impossible to express them all at once! I am so happy and excited for her, this means so much to her and therefore, so much […]

It’s at times like tonight that I remember how lucky I really am. When everything is silent and the day has finally calmed into the night, I have space to think.
I think how lucky I am that I have a great family despite their quirky-ness and insanity! I have wonderful parents and my darling […]

Second chances are a strange thing.
There are times when we desperately want to be given a second chance, to make up for messing things up the first time around. We’ve learnt from our mistakes and want to use the luxury of our hind-sight to put things right.
There are times when people want you to give […]

The waiting is over. She is gone.
Everyone was waiting for you and I hope you enjoy the party! Dance, laugh and give everyone my love.
Goodbye dear vó-vó.

For a few seconds she saw me, heard me; for a fleeting moment her memory let her remember that she knew me. Then she was gone again, back to that terrifying confused world where she understood nothing and knew no-one, not even herself.
My heart broke with longing to speak with my real grand-ma, not this […]

It has struck me this week that I am using my counselling sessions as a kind of confessional. I have struggled with my Catholicism for years and have all but turned my back on it, finding fault with so many of the ‘rules’. Yet I find myself pouring my heart out to a complete stranger […]